This is weird. Why did i blog?




Because i dont usually blog until like 5 months later(just an expression, i dont blog every 5 months). Anyways, i was blog hopping and i touched my nose(trying to scratch it, i think) and felt this lump, like a pimple thing on my nose(bottom part) and i thought about death and illnesses. I dont know why, but i thought of it.


What if i had nose cancer due to the heavy inhaling of dirty gases(vehicle exhaust and second hand smoking) i breathe in almost everyday. Even in school!
And i thought while watching the tv(all at the same time!) that even if i got that nose cancer thing, no one would care. No one as in excluding my family members. Friends will care yes, but only for a year or two, maybe even shorter- 1 month.

Thing is, everyone is going to lead normal lives even when they know about my condition. All they can do is comfort, comfort and comfort me. Nothing else, maybe counselling me cause i probably wouldn't even take my drugs for my illness. Operation is a no-no, so i guess i will have to depend on drugs and injections to cure me or just, prolong my life.

I am going to live with all different kinds of cancer cells in my body until the day i die(probably because of it) and no one would really know how i felt when i was alive. All they can say(maybe the nicest of all is) poor thing, so young, such a waste. And i wouldn't even be aware of it even after my death, or i would because i dont know where i will be when i die. No matter how much i wish myself to be alive and kicking, i can't.


I dont want to think about it nor do i want you people to think about it, the day you die. What will you die of? Sickness, old age? or maybe just loneliness. I could be wrong, some would die happy, some would die when they're having fun(like of a heart attack, oh wait, that's under sickness.)

I didn't know the pimple on my nose could lead me to think about death. I dont wanna die, and i wish to do something about being healthy and living life to the fullest. Thing is, i'm lazy and much as i want to, i dont. I always say i'm a busy person(with tuitions and stuff) but when it comes to the time when i'm not, i give the excuse that i'm tired. Excuses excuses, maybe that's just human nature right? to come up with excuses when you dont feel like doing something.


Okay, this post is boring. I'm gonna end.